OK, I beat some middle school kid and stole his Adderall, so this is HAPPENING!!!
(Editor’s Comment: It should be noted that any attempts by the author to fight anyone would end quickly with the author running away. Further, he is afflicted with the debilitating cognitive condition called “Gingervitus”, formerly known as “That Annoying Redhead”, and thus is prohibited by law in all nations from taking any stimulants, because, put simply, you don’t put out a house fire with pressurized gasoline. Gingervitus only looks like ADHD, normal pharmaceutical treatments only amplify the ginger.)
Sorry, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, and I figured you guys missed my nonsensical books!
I do have a real question, which yes, I know, should have been up top, and shouldn’t be buried way down below all the silliness, I know. But it’s too late now, it’s already there, and they told me once it’s on the World Wide Webs, it’s there forever. Can’t do anything about it now, can we!?
So I’m building…crafting…no, sculpting my Sharptools Dashboard on the totes-begotes tablet you said I should buy if I ever wanted friends. I do want friends, more than anything, so I purchased it from the Amazons, and have named the machine “My 10” Fire". In a move to garner more of your praise, I trusted your recommendation and have been building the aforementioned dashboard in the very snazzy and made for cooler people, Kiosk Browser. As I’m sure you probably expected, I have lost all capabilities to configure the Kiosk Browser because there are no longer buttons. I don’t understand why they are gone or where they went. My two go-to troubleshooting methods normally used to elicit computer/ smartphone behavior modification and compliance, high volume voice commands and sharp high pressure kinetic inputs, were, as they always are, ineffective at solving the issue.
Should I not be using that weird buttonless Kiosk Browser thing to build my Cool-o-Magical dashboard, and only use that once my Highly-Sought-After dashboard that everyone will copy and make wish they were my friend, is all finished and ready to go?
I ask because right now whenever I put something (I believe they are referred to colloquially as “tiles” or “cool magical shiny squares”) where I want them to go, even go that extra-mile and provide multiple verbal commands and threats of punishment to the Kiosk and My 10" Fire not to move the tiles because I put them there for a reason, if I change a tile setting to make it go from kinda-bad to wicked-rad, when I save the improvement and the dialogue box closes, My 10" Fire laughs at me and does what that mean kid in High School always did whenever i would be peacefully enjoying a jigsaw puzzle in the library. Mean Margaret would always upend all my meticulous awesome sauce work and throw my beautiful puzzle of a wolf howling at the moon straight at my head and the wall. But in this case all my tiles go wherever Lady-Luck decides to take them, the tiles scatter into the shapes of a middle finger and a devious smiling face, chaos ensues, and I end up losing hours of time to the inevitable fits, crying, self deprecation, and watching The Notebook movie whilst eating ice cream out of the tub cause if makes me feel better. It’s probably pretty tough to watch.
Is there a way to turn off this “Auto Rage Inducer” feature? I know that there is probably a very good reason that people want that to happen, but Josh, I don’t have to tell you cause you already know. This Fly Guy ain’t like other people. My mom says I’m special, and that I’m gonna be a “catch” some day…Someday… I’m 47 now, and she said I’m just getting unto my prime now!
Thanks mom, now get out of my room!! I’m talking to my best friend Josh, quit bothering me! Jeez!!!